Call To Order

My attempts to calm myself and impose a little order in the face of our country becoming an out-of-control dumpster fire continue. In an earlier post, I discussed minimalism as a philosophy of life encompassing so much more than just decluttering. Because I would hazard a guess that there are very few of us who aren’t living with some level of excess, consciously or not, I do believe that decluttering is a fabulous starting point. It’s a more concrete, visual part of the process that eventually affords you the clarity to think about simplifying other areas of your life. Today’s “decluttering dump” includes tips I’ve gleaned from others as well as discoveries I’ve made myself.

First, some caveats:

-There is no “correct” amount of stuff, or “correct” type of possessions, or “correct” methodology. What you value and how you choose to manifest that in your life is highly individual. I’ve learned over the years that the number one turnoff for people who are resistant to decluttering is the perceived judgment of those trying to “help” them.

-Decluttering need not be done all at once. In fact, the larger the job, the more it should be spread out over time. You’ll build stamina as you go and be far less likely to allow decision fatigue to make you half-ass it. A room, a closet, or even a drawer at a time will still eventually get the job done.

-Know your why. Why have you decided to tackle this potentially Herculean task? Again, this is highly personal. Maybe you’re getting older and don’t want your kids to have to deal with all your stuff. Maybe you’re tired of spending all your time maintaining what you have and would like to downsize in order to enjoy other activities. Maybe you can’t stand to look at the piles anymore. Maybe if something falls out of that closet onto your head one more goddamn time, you’re going to go postal. Knowing your why will invariably inform how you proceed.

Next, some mechanics:

-Set up four distinct areas for things you’re keeping, things you’re giving away, things that belong in a different room, and trash.

-Whether you’re doing a room, a closet, or a drawer, touch everything. You don’t have to get all Marie Kondo and talk to the item (unless you want to), but it’s easy to overlook things when you’re just removing the low-hanging fruit.

-Make sure that the things designated as no longer part of the area get removed immediately. Things that belong somewhere else should be put there, trash should be taken out, and donations or gifts should be delivered.

It helps to be aware of (and debunk) some of the most common objections to letting go of things:

-“I paid a lot of money for that”. But the money is still gone, and if you never use the item it’s just going to activate your guilt and subconsciously drag you down each time you see it.

-“This might come in handy someday”. If it hasn’t yet, and you don’t see your life changing significantly so that it might, it’s probably time to let it go. (Below I’ll share a guideline for cases where you’re truly unsure.)

-“We have room for it”. That may be true, but if you’re never going to use it, why not rehome it with someone who would? You could have room for a new hobby. Or you could just enjoy the space.

-“My kids might want that someday.” Sorry, but this is so often not the case. Unless you’ve had an honest conversation with the kids in which they expressly stated (rather than caved to your insistence) that they want a particular item, you need to assume that they won’t.

-“That was a gift, and I feel guilty getting rid of it”. It’s my opinion that gifts should not impose any type of burden on the recipient. If there is a valid concern that the gift giver would confront you, you’ll want to pay special attention later when we cover decluttering relationships.

 -“It’s sentimental!” And that’s a perfectly valid reason to keep something. But if it really means something, it shouldn’t be stuffed away in a drawer or the back of a closet. There are also endless ways to preserve memories that don’t require the retention or display of the item itself.

Here are what I’ve found to be two of the most common reasons really underlying a resistance to letting go of things:

-Holding on to memories. The clothing you wore when you were younger, or thinner, or when you were a professional. The books you read when you were in love, or living in the place of your dreams. Things that remind you of people or places or happier times.

-Holding on to dreams that may have changed. The equipment for the sport or the hobby that you thought you might take up some day. The housewares for all the entertaining you thought you might do. The books you thought you should read or the clothing for a job or a lifestyle that never quite materialized.

Given all of the above, some questions to ask yourself:

-Is this item useful in the life I’m living today?

-Does this item require an inordinate amount of maintenance?

-Would this item be more useful in another part of the home?

-Is there a better way to archive and/or display these sentimental items?

-Does this item fit into its’ container (i.e. the drawer, closet, room, etc. where it lives, which is a container with a finite capacity)?

My two favorite guidelines for items you’re on the fence about (a lot of those “this may come in handy someday” items), are to ask yourself:

-Should the need arise, could I replace it for less than $20 in less than 20 minutes?

-If this item should somehow become covered in poop, would I try to salvage it?

(Wish I could take credit for either of those, but I certainly use them. I can also report that the CWP found them very useful in packing for her recent move.)

Of course, unless you’re a droid, you’re going to have to do a little maintenance to avoid the need for another major overhaul. A periodic audit is a great help. I personally find that looking at my home with fresh eyes after some time away is an easy way to identify problem areas. Or you may want to try quieting. Meanwhile, a couple of easy maintenance routines:

-One in; one out. Buy a new item, recycle an old one.

-Throw away ten things. I read this one ages ago and have been using it ever since. When you throw away that expired item from the fridge, check the pantry and/or the medicine cabinet. You’ll be surprised. I find old mail and the junk drawer to also be fertile ground.

Those of us who are a tad bit anal find decluttering satisfying and fun, but I haven’t met anyone yet who, however resistant, didn’t feel lighter after letting go of what was weighing them down. Give it a try; all you’ve got to lose is stuff. I’m rooting for you.

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Thanks for reading. As always, I welcome questions, comments or tips of your own.