Resurrection

As I enter my fourth week of extremely limited movement thanks to my latest gift from the Universe, my gratitude list is topped by my upcoming appointment for kyphoplasty, in which cement will be injected into my back in order to prop up the portion of my spine that was decimated when I crashed onto the pavement. Word is that recovery is often complete within 48 hours, and my time on the couch is now whiled away imagining all the things I’ll once again be able to do. There are so many things that I previously took for granted that I’m looking forward to.

Bending. I’ll once again be able, and insanely happy, to

Apply lotion to the lower part of my body

Dress in something other than my robe or a caftan

Do laundry (good thing I’ve only needed my robe or a caftan)

Cook (takeout and Lean Cuisine have been lifesavers but get old)

Pick up the backyard brownies my pal has been baking for the last 3 weeks

Pick up miscellanea from the floor (never realized my tendency to drop things)

Sitting. At my kitchen counter, at my desk, outside (think I may be avoiding the couch for a while), in a car; the possibilities this opens up are endlessly cheering.

Standing. I’m going to be ecstatic to be able to get to a standing position without bellowing. And I’m going to be happy to maintain one for more than five minutes without leaning against the wall and grunting. Again, the possibilities abound.

Walking. I’m so grateful for the loan of a walker but honestly can’t wait to return it. I’m so eager to get back to

Walking to my mailbox

Bringing out the trash

Walking the dog

Walking to the market or on errands

Walking to the beach

Sadly, not only my physical routines have been rudely interrupted. Pain and opiates and the need to be prone have all conspired to make most of my favorite things either unappealing or impossible.

Routines I’m Eager to Resume

Stretching and resistance training

Swimming

Sitting meditation

Longhand journaling

Writing like it’s my job

Things I’ve Been Thinking About for Future Posts

The need for personal precision in defining terms (examples: success or safety)

The concept of grace

The importance of narrative slant for both our personal brand and happiness

The need for daily self-forgiveness

The concept of dialectics: how two things can be true at one time

I will be reporting on the outcome of my kyphoplasty before posting later this week. In the meantime, another shoutout to my Angel of Mercy, without whom I’d have been truly wretched, and to all of those who brought sunshine into these cloudy days (you know who you are).

***

Yesterday was the big day, and it definitely reinforced the maxim that ignorance is bliss. I had no clue how much it was going to hurt (the worst of several painful elements being a hammering on my spine), and it probably didn’t help that the valium I’d been promised (which I’m assuming would have made me laugh at the pain) had somehow been forgotten. Yelling and a bad word or two may have been involved. No matter. I got off that table with a bit of stiffness, rather than agony, and a radiant grin. I was brimming with gratitude as my Angel of Mercy drove me home.

I remain deliriously happy this morning, despite adjusted expectations (picking up on my manic excitement, the doctor issued a stern warning not to overdo), a bit of soreness, and general deconditioning. The thought of all I will reclaim or recalibrate in the next two weeks is exciting. Miracles do happen.